Breaking Out
by T3hWh1t3P4nth3r
Summary: Draco decides to go against his father. He risks being disowned, but he doesn't care. Not yet at least. There is a great deal of Draco/Blaise in this story. You no like, you no read.


Authors note: Ok, this is my first time attempting to write a fic in first person. I'm going to be writing this as Draco. Or at least, I'm going to try. Please review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I know I haven't written in a while, but I would've thought that you guys would remember that I don't own anything from the Harry Potter series.

I had always thought that the world was black and white. That you were either a good guy or a bad guy. I also thought that you were stuck on whichever side you were born on. And for me, that meant I was doomed to be a death eater. But I've learned since then. I learned of those that were conventional and stuck to what was expected of them and of the rebels who went against expectations. Obviously, I realized that I was conventional. And that I didn't want that.

_'But it's too late for me now,' _I thought bitterly as I glared at the inky, black brand on my arm. I kept hoping that if I stared at it long enough, if I concentrated hard enough, that it would just burst into flames and be gone. _'There has to be a way to get out of this mess…'_

I glanced out at the lake from my perch on the roof. The squid was frolicking and splashing around, enjoying itself. Mocking me, more like... If only I had realized what I truly wanted before I took the Mark. Maybe I could've avoided all of this. I placed my head in my hands, feeling hopeless. Feeling weak… Guess I was just feeling the way that everyone else saw me…

"What are you doing?" I snapped at myself. "You know damn well that no good will come from self-pity." I raised my head and looked up at the moon, attempting to clear my troubled mind. My gaze flitted to a nearby ash tree, devoid of leaves. The only thing in the tree was a phoenix of deep green. As I watched it, it burst into flame. I wasn't sure what to think. It was horrible to see something so beautiful catch fire like that, but, at the same time, the fire itself was incredible. I continued to watch as a small chick popped its head up from the smoldering ashes. And then it hit me.

"I'm being a fool! Sure, it's too late to prevent the Mark, obviously. But that doesn't mean that I can't get out of this." I stood, filled with an unknown confidence. A purer kind of confidence than I was used to. I glanced once more at the phoenix chick. It burrowed down into the warm ashes to sleep and I felt a small smile spread over my face. "I'll follow your lead… I'll give myself a new life. Hopefully, a better life." I checked my watch: quarter past three. I needed to get back to the room. It wouldn't be long before Blaise woke up and found out that I was gone.

I was distracted heading back, lost in my many thoughts. _'How can I pull it off? I can't just simply go up to the Dark Lord and say "Screw you! I'm done!" That would be the best way to get hit with the Cruciatus curse until I lost my mind or died. Whichever came first… Hmmm, maybe I could-'_ Not watching where I was going, my foot went straight through the false step. The same one that Loser Longbottom always forgot about. I pulled as hard as I could, desperately trying to get free. But with every movement I made, I would sink further into the step and it would tighten around me. I struggled to remain silent, the pain making me want to scream out. My situation was made worse when Peeves came floating along, spotting me stuck in the stairs.

"Well, well, well…" he said in his annoying sing-song voice. "It looks like the Ice Princess has gotten into quite the predicament! Should I help her? Hmmm… You know, after giving it a quick think over, I believe that it would be a better idea to let Mr. Filch help the Princess…" With a wicked smile, Peeves opened his mouth. _'I'm doomed!'_ I thought, putting my head down and covering my ears. I waited for the wail from the poltergeist, but it never came. When I looked up, I saw why.

The Bloody Baron had showed up. He was the only one, other than Professor Dumbledore, who could keep Peeves under control. "Leave," The Baron commanded. Peeves went to protest, but thought better of it when the Baron shot a bone chilling glare at him and reached for the hilt of his sword. Peeves quickly flew away. The Baron turned his attention to me, trapped helplessly in the stairs. "What happened, Mr. Malfoy?" he asked swooping over.

"The usual…" I strained to speak without my voice cracking. "I was thinking… Didn't watch where I was going…" The Baron grabbed hold of me beneath my arms and gave a rather sharp tug. My leg was free at last, but it was bleeding slightly from where the stone had bitten into my flesh. "Thanks…" I said a bit sheepishly.

"Might I ask what you were thinking about that you forgot to jump the trick stair?" he inquired.

"Rebellion," I answered shortly.

"Ah. Well, yes," he said thoughtfully. "I'm sure there will be plenty of that soon. What with the upcoming war and all that. But don't worry, lad. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it. After all, it would be you and the other death eaters against a bunch of kids." He had a rather pleased expression on his face. I could tell that he didn't get it at all.

"I meant ME," I said. "I was thinking about having my own personal rebellion, not trying to put one down." He looked completely taken aback and was lost for words. "Look, I really don't like the way my life is going. And I started to think 'What good would it be to live to an old age, but HATE the life you lived reaching that age?' I started to think that it would be better to at least die having done at least one thing that I could be proud of: Fighting for something that I actually want."

The Bloody Baron blinked a few times, seemingly stunned. "Well," he said after a few minutes. "I'm glad that you're doing something to please yourself for once, but does it really have to be so drastic that you could lose your life? Is convention really that awful of an idea to you?" His eyes seemed pleading, as if he was truly alarmed by my plan. "I'm begging you to think this through, Draco. Don't be in such a hurry to throw your life away. You don't realize how precious it is until you've lost it…" I watched him float away, down the corridor. His words were ringing in my ears. WAS I throwing my life away? Was I REALLY in such a hurry to change my life that I would be willing to lose it completely? As I thought on these questions, a new strength swelled inside me. "Yes," I said out loud to no one but myself. "Yes, I am willing to accept whatever consequences my actions may bring. Even if it's a slow and painful death, I will not be swayed now…"

I reached the room that Blaise and I shared. He was still sound asleep, but a quick glance showed me that he was not alone. _'Honestly…'_ I thought rolling my eyes, a frustrated sigh escaping my lips. _'Why couldn't he just pitch her out when it was over like he did the last one?' _It annoyed me: all the women that he brought back to the room. Wasn't I enough for him? Or was he trying to make a point that I was gone too much? I cast a quick silencing charm around myself, the fireplace and the area around my bed and desk. I planned to be awake for a little while longer and didn't want to wake him or his 'friend'. It needed to be done THAT night. I couldn't risk waiting too long and changing my mind. I reached into a special drawer in my desk and pulled out a small sack containing Floo powder. I tossed some into the fire and watched the flames turn from a deep, burning amber to a bright green. I stepped into the blaze. "Malfoy Manor".

The sensation of travelling by the Floo network… Well, let's just say, I had never really gotten used to it. After I had calmed my stomach, I stepped out of the fireplace into the den. Though this was the place where I was raised, the only place besides Hogwarts I had ever really known, I couldn't bring myself to call it 'home' and mean it. It was incredibly dark, being only about four in the morning. I strode through the room, careful of where I stepped. I didn't want to alert the whole house that I was there yet. Anyway, Father was the only one that I actually needed to speak to. Though, no doubt 'speaking' would turn into shouting…

I saw a light at the end of the hallway where Father's study was. I heard the distinct sound of glass on glass and knew that he was drinking. _'Fantastic. It wasn't going to be difficult enough. Now, he's drunk too… Clearly, this is not my day…'_ I took in a deep breath, held myself up high and made my way down the dark corridor. The door gave a loud creak as I entered, but Father paid it no heed, too distracted with downing his Fire Whiskey. He slammed the drained glass down on his desk and, finally, looked up at me. "What are you doing here?" He sounded unbelievably groggy, his words slurring together. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"I will go back as soon as I tell you what I need to say." I could feel myself pulling back, knew that my resolve and determination were both fading quickly. I took in another breath and stared straight into his stone grey eyes, so dark, now, that they were nearly black. "I'm done." It was a simple statement really, but it was clearly enough to enrage the drunken man. He stood, knocking over his chair.

"What do you mean 'You're done'?" All impediments in his voice from the alcohol were nowhere to be heard. He sounded as lucid, and as angry, as ever. "Because, if you mean what I THINK you mean, there shall be DIRE consequences!"

My courage peaked. "I don't give a DAMN about your 'consequences'! All my life, I've done as you've told me. I've been preparing myself to join you in the ranks of Voldemort's death eaters," Lucius cringed at the name of his master. "But I'm done! I don't want this anymore. Hell! I don't think I EVER wanted all this in the first place! The main reason I do most of this stuff is to try and please YOU, but I've realized something."

"And what's THAT!?" I knew his temper was rising. His face was getting red and there was a very visible vein pulsing by his left temple.

I took a step closer to him. I could smell the whiskey, heavy on his breath. But that would not stop me now. I was already in too deep to get back out, so I figured _'May as well plunge deeper…'_ "I realized that I'm just wasting my time, trying to please a heartless, cowardly, scummy bastard like you!" I was met swiftly with the back of a hand. I staggered slightly, hand at my cheek. There was a wet, warm streak. I looked to his left hand. The rings he wore had broken skin and were now streaked with the bright scarlet of my blood. He stood there, staring at me, no doubt dumbfounded that I had spoken out against him for the first time in my life.

"How dare you!" he finally spat. "Have you no respect for your father? For the man who gave you life? For the man who only ever wanted what was best for you?"

"Excuse me?! 'What was best for me'?! How is becoming a death eater what's 'best for me'?!"

"It's better to walk on the devil's right hand side than in his path!"

"Says who?! If everyone thought that way, then the only thing we'd be doing is giving the devil an army! But, if enough people stood in his path, there's no way he could win! Why can't you see that?" I was getting irritated at how ignorant Father was.

"Fine then!" he snapped. "If you want to stand in HIS way and get yourself killed, be my guest! But know this: If, by some miracle, you DO survive, you will no longer have a roof over your head when school ends. If you disgrace this family by jumping sides, then you are not worthy to bear the name 'Malfoy'! You'll be disowned and cut off!"

"Fine!" I shouted back. "I don't want the name anyway if it ties me to you! And as far as money goes, I'll find a job. I don't NEED you nearly as much as you seem to think I do!" I turned to storm out of the room, but stopped at the door. I turned back. "One more thing…" He glared at me, waiting for what I had to say. "Go fuck yourself!" With that, I slammed the door. I heard the sound of a glass bottle shattering behind me. I could hear him moving towards the door. _'Shit! Now I've done it!'_ I thought as I began creeping away. I had just turned to bolt off when I heard the door fling open. I broke into a run, but it was too late. He caught me by the back of my robes and threw me to the ground. I frantically scrambled to get up, but I was met with a fast crack on the back with a solid, blunt object. I cried out, both from surprise and pain. I ventured a glance up to see what he was striking me with. In his hands shined the silver snake head of his cane. It was made with magically reinforced dragon scales, meaning that it was damn hard to break. I tried over and over again to stand, but each time, I was slammed back down to the cold, stone floor.

I decided to give up on trying to get to my feet. Instead, I began to inch my way towards the fireplace. This didn't keep him from continuing his vicious attack. An idea formed in my mind. _'Do it! He won't be expecting it and it'll give you a chance to escape while you still can. Do it, Draco! Remember the phoenix!'_ I was aware that it was going to hurt like hell, but it was my only plan at this point. I reached my hand into the fireplace and felt my skin begin to burn as I scooped up a handful of hot ashes. I flung them upwards, straight into the eyes of my father. He screamed in pain as he staggered backwards, knocking over a table and a few chairs. Clutching my sides and having trouble breathing, I threw some Floo powder into the fire that had just saved my life. "Hogwarts! Room of Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini!"

I didn't step out of the fireplace so much as I fell out of it. For what seemed like hours, I laid there on the floor in a crumpled heap, not wanting to move. The pain was intense, to the point that it even hurt to simply draw breath. I somehow managed to get up and start getting ready for classes. The water running over my body as I showered felt amazing. Honestly, I had half expected it to make things worse. I wrapped a towel around my waist as I stepped out. I made my way to the mirror, wiping off the steam so I could see my reflection clearly. I watched the water drip from the tips of my tousled hair, watched it glide down my neck and chest. I turned to see my back. I was unable to hold back my gasp. Almost my entire back was black and blue. I lightly ran a finger over one of the bruises, hissing in pain. _'Oh, Merlin… This is gonna be hard…' _I knew that I needed to keep it secret. Not for his sake, but for my own. Everyone already thought that I was weak, I didn't need them knowing that I had gotten beat up. And by my own father, no less!

I slid into my clothes, wincing slightly when the fabric of my shirt brushed my back. _'If I can't even stand bloody FABRIC touching it, what the hell am I supposed to do when Pansy comes up and latches on to me?' _She had a habit of attacking me from behind, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me until I felt like I was going to snap in half. I went to do my tie, but found that it hurt to lift my arms, as I had been struck on the shoulders a few times as well. I heard the door open and close and knew that Blaise had just sent away his lady friend and was about to start getting ready too. I swallowed my pride and stepped out of the bathroom, shirt undone, tie undone and hair still in slight disarray. Blaise gave me a look of utter confusion.

"What's up?" he asked, sounding rather amused.

I let out a soft sigh. "Could you help me?" I could see him getting ready to laugh at how childish I seemed. "It hurts… to lift my arms too high," I muttered, hoping that he wouldn't entirely hear. He stood and walked over. For a split second, I had thought that he was just going to leave it at that and do as I had asked. He reached up to the collar of my shirt, appearing to be straightening it. But, with a swift flick of his wrists, it was off.

He turned me around and had a perfect view of my exposed back. "Holy fuck…" I heard him mutter. He spun me back around, though gentler this time. "How did this happen?" His eyes locked with mine: pissed and dangerous, but still highly concerned. That's what  
I loved about him: his eyes…

I simply shook my head. "It's nothing… Really…" As much as I would've loved to tell him, I knew Blaise. He was rash and impulsive, rarely actually thinking things through and always acting on instinct. I knew that if I told him, he would do something that he would regret later on. He asked several times, hoping to irritate me into giving him the truth, but I gave him the same answer every time.

"Fine, then. Don't tell me. So, what? You plan to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone?" I nodded my head 'yes'. "Well that's gonna be one hell of a job."

"Nothing I can't handle…" I hoped that he wouldn't notice the unease in my voice. He took a step back, crossed his arms and just stared at me.

"If that's the case, then you shouldn't need my help getting dressed." A wicked smile was tugging at his lips. I hated to admit it, but he made a good point: If I can't even dress myself, how can I deal with fellow classmates? _'You can do it, Draco,'_ I thought._ 'Show him that he's wrong, just like everyone else. Show him your strength. Surely you have SOME in here somewhere. All you need to do is find it and use it.'_ After sliding my shirt back on, I raised my hands up to my neck, starting with the top button and working my way down. I popped my collar, did my tie and got everything all settled. I was planning to smooth down my hair, as I always did. _'I thought you were going to be rebellious…" _mocked the voice in my head. _'Besides, you look pretty damn good like that.' _I took a look in the mirror once more. I smirked and nodded. "I DO look pretty good…" I muttered to myself. I strode back out into the bedroom, met by a smirking Blaise.

"I'm impressed…" he said. "I honestly didn't think you could do it. And since when do you NOT milk any injury you get? You acted like it was the end of the world three years ago when you got scratched by the hippogriff. But now, with your entire back totally trashed, you act like it's no big deal. What AREN'T you telling me?!"

"It's complicated, okay?!" I knew I must have sounded like a whiny child. But, then, that's probably the way I usually sounded…

Blaise walked over to me and ran his fingers through my hair. "You should keep it like this…" He gave a coy smirk that nearly made me melt. "It adds to your natural sex appeal…"

With a smirk, I leaned in and captured his lips. "You need to get ready," I said, pulling away. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sad look on his face. He was just SO much fun to tease.

He grabbed his clothes and strode into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind him. I shook my head and scoffed. He strolled back out, shirt and tie undone, with a smirk on his face. "Could you help me?"

I walked over to him with narrowed eyes. "Why should I when you mock me like that?" I reached my hands up to his shoulders, moving the fabric from his neck. I peppered kisses over his pulse point, down his chest, and back up to the other side. I turned his face to mine and seized his lips, reveling in the pure need that emanated from him. _'So, your women don't do it for you…" _I thought as he began to make the kiss rougher. A moan escaped me as he pushed me up against the wall, loosening my tie and reaching for my belt.

I grabbed his hand at my waist as I pulled away from the intoxicating kiss. "We don't have time…" I gasped. "And besides… 6 am is a bit early, don't you think? Even for us?"

Blaise sighed, placing his hands on either side of me. He put his forehead lightly against mine. "I guess you've got a point…" he sighed. "But I never seem to see you anymore at night … You're always up on the roof…" He sounded more sad than irritated. "I miss you," he said, nuzzling into me.

I began kissing his neck again. "Well, then," I purred. "Let's make a date. You and I, tonight…" A smile spread over his lips. "I'll give you everything that you've been missing. Everything that those girls obviously couldn't give you…"

"That's because no one is quite like you." He kissed me on the lips. It was brief, but filled with heat none the less. "All your quirks… All your neurotic tendencies… Every last scar on your body is my escape… My paradise. Sometimes I think you're the only thing that keeps me sane."

"And yet, you drive me up the walls," I said coyly, playfully pushing him away. "We have to hurry or we'll be late."

We grabbed our things and left for the Great Hall. We sat down near Pansy and her annoying posse of tag-alongs. "Where were you two?" she asked when we sat down. "We were starting to get worried. We thought that something dreadful had happened to you.

Blaise glanced at me, probably wondering if I was going to tell them. "No. Nothing happened to either of us. We just… found it hard to get motivated to leave the room this morning… That's all, though. We're perfectly fine." I glanced over to Blaise. A smirk was plastered on his handsome face. I rolled my eyes and chuckled lightly. I snagged a piece of toast as well as an apple for breakfast.

"Don't you think you should eat a bit more, Drakie?" Pansy cooed, shifting closer to me. "It can't be healthy, how little you eat."

"She has a point, Draco," Blaise added, knowing I would never listen to Pansy. "You really should eat more. You've lost a lot of weight lately. We're all getting a bit concerned with it."

I raised my eyebrow. "And who, might I ask, is 'we all'?"

"Vince, Greg, Theo, Pansy and me. Daphne and her little sister have been asking too." Blaise had a concerned look in his eyes, verging on sadness it seemed.

Pansy added hesitantly, "And with the way you were talking on the train… About how you don't see yourself here next year… And how you were talking about pitching yourself of the Astronomy Tower…" She had to stop, her breath catching in her throat. I couldn't help but feel guilty about what I had said.

I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, tilting her chin up to look me in the eye. "I'm not going to do that, Pansy. Come on, stop crying…" I soothed, wiping a fresh tear from her cheek. She tried to calm down by holding her breath, but all she did was give herself the hiccups.

"I know… I'm sorry…" she said as she wiped her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve, streaking her makeup in the process. "I can't help it though. You've always had a bit of a dark streak in you. I just don't want to see you break…" She reached out suddenly and wrapped me tight in her arms. I ended up biting my lip to keep from reacting to the sharp pain of the pressure on my battered back. I'm pretty sure I held my breath the whole time.

When she finally let go, her face was streaked with her running mascara. "Here," I said, holding up a silver goblet of pumpkin juice. "Have a drink."

She smiled at the gesture but gasped as she saw her reflection. She turned to snap at her friends. "Why didn't you tell me I looked like a wreck!?"

Her followers began protesting and trying to assure her that they hadn't noticed, otherwise they would have told her. One of her gutsier friends placed a hand on Pansy's shoulder. "It really isn't as bad as you seem to think, Pansy."

"'Not as bad as I think'?! I look like I was thrown into the lake!" She grabbed her bag and stood from the table, turning to me. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this, Drakie. I'm so ashamed." Before I could tell her that it really wasn't a big deal she stormed out of the hall, her disciples following close behind.

Blaise began to laugh as soon as she was gone. "How melodramatic can you get?"

I gave him a stern look. "She's upset, she can't help that. Besides, it's not like she does this all the time or anything." We held each others' gaze seriously for about six seconds before we both started to snigger.

"I have to admit, you almost had me going for a minute there. But your sarcasm slipped in a little too strongly."

A third year girl strode over to where we were sitting. Her chocolate-brown hair was tied back into a ponytail with a green ribbon. She sat in the spot that had just been left by Pansy. "Draco, are you alright?" she asked, her voice holding a hint of worry. Her amber eyes glistened as she spoke. "You aren't planning on doing anything… drastic, are you?"

I shook my head and sighed. "No, Astoria, I'm not." She gave me a pointed look, crossing her arms over her chest. I raised my right hand. "Swear."

She sighed. "Alright then… Blaise, make sure you keep an eye on him." Blaise gave a mock salute, making her roll her eyes. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me gently for a moment. "Please take care of yourself, Draco…" she whispered before she let go. She gave a curt nod and a smile before turning and rejoining her older sister, Daphne. I stared after her for a brief moment, wondering why she would even care in the first place. I didn't know her or her sister very well. Hell, the only connection I could see was that we were in the same house.

When I turned, Blaise was wearing a broad, cheeky smile. "I think she likes you…"

"Come off it…" I shifted my attention to my toast. "Besides, she's a third year… She's not really my type, either…"

Blaise raised a slender, dark eyebrow. "Oh, really? And what is your type, exactly? Hmm? What gets you hot under the collar?"

A coy smirk wound on to my lips as I tilted my head slightly to the side, my fringe falling in front of my silver eyes a bit. "Let's see… Tall, intelligent, dark, handsome, eyes black as night when he gets turned on…" I leaned over to whisper in his ear. "And desperate for me… For my touch… For me to move inside him…" I could feel the slight shiver that ran down his back. "Oh, yeah… He's the one that gets me… 'hot under the collar', was it?"

I pulled back, a triumphant smile on my face with a mischievous gleam in my eyes. I grabbed my bag and stood, seeing that most of the hall was starting to leave. "We had better get going. If we're late again, McGonagall will have our heads." A smirk spread on his lips as he too grabbed his things, shaking his head as he watched me walk toward the double doors into the hall.

Note: Ta-da! This is only the first chapter. I have no idea how long the others will be or if I'll even continue the story very far. Leave a review and let me know what you thought and if it would be worth continuing.


End file.
